WHO IS WHO
From time to time, you may get confused about who is who— I know I do and I actually know these loons. Here is a list of people and their alias, relationships, and some general banter about them. I will continue to edit the list as the stories grow.
BMC Girls: My five exceptionally fabulous friends from college: Allie, Annie, Frankie, Laura and Tara(dise). Though we’re spread across the country, we like to reunite every so often and discuss applicable feminist theories and what Britney will do next.
Casey: (Also: Case, Casers, Riegs) We became best friends after she crashed my junior year pool party. She pretends not to remember this, luckily I’ve here and always ready to embarrass her by recounting her less-than-dignified moments (mooing cows any one?). She currently lives in Edinburgh with her awesome (don’t tell him that) husband, Adam, but recently got a iPhone so our iMessage and Facetiming excursions make it feel like she’s a little less than an ocean away.
Christina: (Known as CJ) One of my oldest friends. Seriously, we hit our ten year anniversary in 2012. She is a sister from another mister, a badass politico, and one of those people that a year can go by and we’ll reunite (over food obviously) and nothing will have change. Except that we’ve gotten “awesomer.”
Gabriel: (Known as G) My super special man friend. He is the peanut to my butter. My main squeeze. My partner in crime. The person who gives me heart attacks when we leave (late) for the plane (always).
IPTers: (Also: IPT, Club Cougar) IPT stands for International Political Theory. In 2009 to 2010, there were seven of us, eight if you want to be all official and stuff, and we were rather bonded- weekly dinners and what nots. This shouldn’t be confused with Nationalism people.
Jodie: (Also: Jo, Jodes, hodilla, hodes) We used to live within twenty blocks of each other and spend an (in)appropriate amount of time together. I believe she’s the reason I have some very choice NYC stories.
Michelle: (Also: Mich,Michy Wifey) My other sister from another mister. Representing LDN, she is “chilliest” person I know—though she hates the word chill. Smart, talented, and my partner-in-crime. Even when I don’t see her face forever!
Steph: (Also: Steph, Roomie, 5) I’m pretty sure we were separated at birth; except were both too much like our family members. We have matching pink flamingo and green stripped sheets and generally cause havoc everywhere we go. I’m pretty sure it’s both better and worse that we are American.
Stormie: (Also: Storms, R-Dawg) Best. Resting Bitch Face. Ever. She is the R-Dawg to my B-Dizzle. We coined Lady Gaga sing-outs and Finals Olympics in the C.M.B, toyed with angry Hippos, and may or may not have staged a coup in Intro course. She makes the best seven layer you have ever tasted, and is definitely one of the most awesome people you can know.
Tara: (Also: Taradise) She is responsible for all the trouble I’ve gotten into in the South. NJ ambassador, epic taste (anything animal print), and a badass lawyer to date. We roadtrip, beach, and general wander anywhere there is sunshine (or donuts).
The Boys: (Also, “our boys” when they do something particularly humourous or entertaining. The rest of the time I spend loving them and simultaneously trying to disassociate any connection to them in public). A collection of some very entertaining, if not completely barmy, engineers. Usually referring to Adam (Casey’s finance), Thomas (Adam’s “hubby”/former roomie), & Mark, Graeme (the herder), Iain (both BIG and WEE), Ryan, Jess (we know not a girl but), Lindsay (coolest girl who unfortunately gets lumped in together with the boys)
Also because, like Mindy Kaling, I too am “one of those weird kids who likes their parents too much”:
Mum: (Also; Mumsy, Mumba, Mommy, Moms) My mother. Superior Genius and general all around badass.
Dad: (Also: Pumba, Pumbs, Dad, Daddy, my personal ATM) My father. He may seem quiet but you’ve never seen him in the board room, on the soccer field or around a kitchen sink.
For the record, I have lived (for more than 3 months continuously) in the Scotland, Switzerland, and the US. I also go to India every year, so that has to count for something…beside frequent flier miles.
Africa: South Africa, Swaziland
Asia: Japan, India, Singapore, Thailand
Europe: Austria, Belgium, Catalonia, Croatia, England, France, Germany, Ireland, Italy, Northern Ireland, Netherlands, Scotland, Spain, Switzerland, Turkey, Wales
North America: Bahamas, Canada, Mexico, United States
South America: Brazil, Paraguay, Columbia
Other: New Zealand
Over the years, my friends and I have developed a tendency to …how shall I put this… creatively manipulate the English language. Though it’s thankfully not along the abbreviations #yolo route, I do feel its necessary to offer a list of translations.
Basement Party noun: Party for one. Used when you want to involve another person in a random party.
Girlie Bus noun: to get constantly and empathically interrupted by a group of people; wherein one person starts the story, and the rest of group will interjects when the first person stops to take a breath or bite to eat.
Also see: Girlie Bussed verb: I just got girlie bussed while trying to tell my story.
Girlie circle noun: where one person starts a story, person 2 interjects with a side tangent, and person 3 interjects with yet another seemingly relevant and yet tangential story. This will continue until the first person interrupts with the conclusion to the original story.
Ginger Effect noun: when two people experience an event and share two absurdly different interpretations of the details, and compromise.
Klepto verb: to intentionally borrow something (person; object, phrase). Different from to steal because it lacks malicious intent.
Sentence: I’m going to klepto your curling iron for a bit.
Not Ugly Scale noun: When a friend is inebriated and potentially feeling another person, a friend must perform a not-ugly test to make sure that that other person is in fact not ugly. Your friend might be drunk, but doesn’t need to wake up feeling worse about their self.
Sentence: (S)He is about a 5 on the not-ugly scale. Go for it.
Nork noun: A word to replace all other words. Invented by Stormie and I one night when writing out politics blog.
Sentence: Just norking nork it! That was norktastic!
Sheeppig noun: Sold in vending machines in pubs across the UK. This inflatable object is advertised as a “sheep” but is in fact a pig.
Sheep Drop noun: Sign in Edinburgh. I’m sure at one point it was Sheer drop, but sheep just seems way more appropriate.